Silence and Solitude

Apr 16, 2008 12:23 AM
For me, it started a few years ago with a bookmark that said, "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10

In prayer, I had been doing all this talking, on and on, and now I discovered that He wanted me to be quiet. It was a serious challenge.

Apr 16, 2008 06:25 AM
Some time ago I read the little book called Practicing the Presence of God
http://www.ccel.org/ccel/lawrence/practice.toc.html

It had a huge impact on me at the time. Prayer turned from asking for stuff, into primarily recognizing God - recognizing His presence, the work of His hands around me and in me, recognizing His wisdom and my foolishness.

This particular verse, Be Still and Know that I am God, took on new and profound quality as a result and it has shaped many of my thoughts since.

Apr 16, 2008 04:10 PM
Ironically, I am, more or less, a quiet person among people. But when I pray, I want so much to follow Jesus' model of prayer that I think I overload myself in trying to cover all the points He described. Because, at the same time, I ALSO remember - right in the middle of my prayer(s) in the back of my head - that God doesn't want flowery words...just a humble and honest heart. And I try to give just that! Still, my mind gets bogged down between just talking with God and remembering how God wants us to pray.

I know I must be either overlooking something or just over-doing it. But mainly I want to follow God's word closely. I think I get too worried and that's what's making it so difficult. And I think fear is in there somewhere, too, and I don't know why.

On the flip side, I do remember long ago that I've had moments where I was just thinking about God and feeling like all was well in my mixed up, confusing, turned-upside-down life.
It was 8 years ago when I lived here in Marysville for the first time. I was walking home to my uncle's place (where I lived before I got my own place) from the Saturday services. I did not like living with my uncle...it was like living with my dad all over again (and I had LEFT Alaska to get away from my dad and find better work opportunities). So, I was feeling really down, having to deal with uncertainties of a new city, and being on MY OWN (or soon afterwards as was the plan), and not knowing what to do about it all.

I almost always had music with me. Ever since my mom and dad bought me dc Talk's "Jesus Freak" and Newsboy's "Take Me To Your Leader", I have rarely sought anything but Christian music - it's what helped to keep my focus on God - and only went after non-Christian stuff if the artist(s) and the song message were appropriate and worthwhile. I was listening to Chris Rice's CD, "Past the Edges". The song "Wind & Spirit" was playing and I had it on repeat (I can easily listen to a song I love 10 times over and not get bored of it).

The night was cool and the moon was full but I was feeling cold and rather alone. But as I listened Chris' words and the feel of the music and looked up at the night sky, the moon, and the puffs of moon-lit clouds drifting along, I began to realize God was with me. I can only ever conclude that it was like the times in the Bible when our various heroes felt God with them, too. It was so different and so good. I was sad and scared and alone, but God said I'm okay. He reminded me He was with me. I wasn't even praying. I was admiring the night-time atmosphere along with the music. I was TAKING GOD IN.

...I think my heart's feelings were screaming so loud that I didn't need to say anything. God knew. He heard and in that time of quiet (well, so-to-speak considering I had my CD player) God came around me and told me everything was going to be okay.